Dreams…I’m not talking about the ones that come and go as we sleep. I’m talking about the ones that start the day we get the positive pregnancy test. The ones that we don’t even realize are taking hold in our hearts in a deep and permanent way. These dreams grow and change as our babies grow and change. They get lived out right before our very eyes in the eyes of our son or daughters.
Often the dreams we have are challenged by the world around us, by circumstances and even by our children because without knowing it we are handing this dream over to our children. We don’t even know we are doing it. But it is happening. When they strap on that backpack that is way too big for their little 5 year old body. When they learn to ride a bike, make their own lunch, go on their first sleepover, go on their first date, wear their first work uniform, and start making plans to leave our home. They are learning to own their own dream and we are moving towards this moment. The leaving that God has so wisely designed.
This is part of the gig, right? We know this even before we have children. We know they will leave our homes. We jump in knowing this and yet when we get to this point it becomes heart wrenching. As moms and dads, we have willingly and lovingly given so much of ourselves in raising these young people. So much has gone into the process to get them to this point. It leaves us without words at times. Sometimes all we have are tears. So many tears. Tears of joy because we are so proud of them. Tears of sadness because we just want one more minute of chubby fingers and sticky cuddles. Tears of gratitude because God trusted us to raise these amazing humans. Tears of fear because what if we didn’t do enough. Tears of faith and hope.
Here’s the thing. This heart ache is a part of the dream. They are leaving because we were enough. We gave them so much in all those years. They are leaving home because they are strong enough to take this step. We have helped them pack those bags. All those years on our knees praying for wisdom that felt like it didn’t come. While we were walking in faith, not always knowing if we were doing things well, God was doing what only He can do (Roman 8:26). Not only was He sustaining us but He was also imparting His strength to them (Ephesians 3:16).
It is now our time to grieve our role changes, walk shoulder to shoulder with our young people and continue to pray on our knees. God sees the ways our heart aches, He sees all of our tears, collects them, and records them all (Psalm 56:8). He sees our kids as they walk into a new season of their lives, He has a plan to sustain them, His grace is sufficient (2 Cor 12:9).
As your tears start to subside I pray you will see the hope in the ache. As the dream evolves and takes up a new place in our heart may we walk in faith and expectation for the new joys to come. For the Lord restores our soul (Psalm 23:3). There is such goodness in this process. May you take the time to be in God’s presence with it, to let Him counsel you with His Spirit and His word. Release your tears for His safe keeping, be still, and wait expectantly on the Lord (Exodus 14:14 and Psalm 27:14) for He is good.
Meet the Author: Davina is a life-long learner, lover of books and great coffee. Being a 4w5 on the enneagram she loves equal parts time with friends and time alone. She is also the only woman in a house of men. She is happily raising 3 boys alongside her husband, two dogs, and one cat.
Liz’s Note: I can’t say enough about this amazing friend of mine! She’s been such an inspiration to my faith journey and instrumental in my journey of motherhood! Not only that, Davina has been such an encouragement and support throughout my writing journey, and for that I am so so thankful. I’m also grateful for the friendship God has allowed us to cultivate over these past several years over coffee and deep conversations. What an honor to have her heart and message shared on the blog today! -liz
Go The Extra Mile: Trust me when I say that it’s the exact song for this specific season of parenthood. Do yourself a huge favor and listen to it all the way through and think of the journey you are experiencing with your senior students and those who are heading towards that season. It’s such a fitting song and we know it will bless you today.