Love: Loving Your Tribe Well

Tribe… in my nomadic lifestyle I have defined tribe as an ever-growing group of people that are on this similar life journey. Those who have been geographically detached from their pre-established support systems. Most of them living thousands of miles from the ‘free babysitter’ and the auntie that swoops in to play dress up and make silly faces when you aren’t feeling the mom gig. This tribe congregates out of necessity for nothing short of needing a local emergency contact number for that form you inevitably get at your child’s school registration. The subtle beginnings of what will become late night phone calls when your washer has flooded your whole house and your husband just happens to be ‘unavailable’. The secret cry sessions as you share the heartache of missed birthdays and delayed return dates. The undertones of knowing that this military life changes our spouse in ways we can’t even put words to paper. This is the stuff that establishes the tribe of military wives and the families they bring in tow. This is, for the better part of the past 18 years, the fertile ground for me to grow in my understanding of what tribe is and how to love them well.


“You do hospitality so well! That MUST be one of your giftings.” Says a well-meaning pastor friend of mine. My gut wrenched and I immediately word vomited out… “NOPE! I just live a life where entertaining is part of my gig… this is a trained behavior.” Although the second part of that statement was true, I adamantly believed the first part… well because as a woman who is called to ministry as a lifestyle, as one who preaches, mentors and pastors… there are a few boxes my wounded heart did not want to be placed in… I bet you can guess at least one… you know all the places it is acceptable for women to serve among any body of believers… if it involves a kitchen, food, children… you get my point. I had no desire to be labeled as hospitality because to me, from the view of the church structure, hospitality looked like standing behind a coffee bar handing out a donut and facilitating meal trains… this was just not my jam. (Please let me take a minute to clarify… ALL of these works are amazingly valid and a ministry to me and to those whose needs are met! We are all a part of the body… knee, shin and ankle.. all are needed and valued. This was just not my place… so I thought). Back to the comment… it sat with me. This friend, I had come to learn, does not just pay nice compliments but speaks to what he sees done well, with joy, and fullness of God’s glory. This observation was not because he had seen me fill up a few snack buckets and provide some bottled water. So I have sat some more on this comment… I got still before God and asked forgiveness for my harshness towards any good gift He has given me and asked for a revelation of what my friend saw. I asked Him to show me a little bit more of how He designed me to be. This is what I learned about me and how hospitality has flown naturally:


Loving my tribe well is not in the pictures of my Instagram feed where you see women drinking wine and sitting around a campfire. Loving my tribe well is in the many mini moments to see a need and choose to be a part of filling it. This is done best within my circle of influence… I get overwhelmed by needing to love on every tribe, but I must focus on loving mine well and trust that it will trickle over. I have learned the necessity of observing well and paying attention to the subtle clues others leave. This is my fact-finding mission, Intel only, all stakeout. (I even keep notes in my phone) I write out likes, kids names, important facts and yes I reference back to them. As a nomad, the need to be known runs deep and this helps me fill that need in others. It helps me build relationships with intentionality and purpose, to allow who God is in me to spill out on them so God can increase in them too! Then I wait… I pray… I ask God for organic opportunities to intersect His love and grace into their life and sometimes I get to be a part of that.

Sometimes that’s sending a text of encouragement, sometimes it’s talking over coffee or a margarita, sometimes that looks like driving 4 hours round trip to get 2 hours of quality face to face time. Sometimes it is sitting next to her crying as we mourn the loss of a child, sometimes that’s babysitting, sometimes it’s a late night run, sometimes its rib-splitting laughter as we play hide in seek in Target. Sometimes that’s putting encouraging notes in the bathroom at prom, Sometimes that is going to someone else’s’ kids sports game. It making the most of those simple everyday encounters. You see, hospitality, per Webster, is the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers.

How do you receive your tribe? Are you friendly with those you receive within a 10 ft radius of yourself every day? (Yes those people are your tribe too, even the one who gives you dirty looks). Are you generous in the way you meet others needs? There is a difference in meeting a need and meeting a need well. One is a reaction and the other is a response. Responses are thoughtful, planned, and intentional. Do the little things that help you be a responder. Make space in your calendar to slow down a little for that phone call, keep a basket in the closet of small “thinking of you” gifts, always have coffee ready to brew, have the extra meal in the cabinet for the sick friend, take the time for rest and spiritual nourishment regularly so you a serving from a full cup… make the most of the opportunity presented to you, after all YOU GET TO be the avenue of God’s love directly into that person’s world.

And what does that get you??? Well, over time, you will find that your hospitality has opened an access to share your story and God’s story and how those stories have connected with their story. This is the principle I have found in studying how Jesus loved his tribe well. He most often met a tangible need before addressing the spiritual need. Loving your tribe well doesn’t end in intentional responses; those mini-moments add up to this field of grace where God’s heart is vividly seen time and time again in the midst of the community that has been created within the tribe. This is where healing takes place, mentorship begins to happen, dreams are obtained, hardships are mourned and joys are celebrated… love and grace abound and God’s glory is known. – Liz Bossard

Meet Liz Bossard: Liz is a reservoir of wisdom and truth. She has battled a lifetime of paving her way through understanding her identity in Christ, and rising to be a light house for others to break out of the box of female stereotypes in life and ministry. She loves to laugh and enjoy her military life with her husband of 18 years and their 3 children. Making many moves across the country, she has gained lots of life experience, amongst the many cultures of the U.S. Liz longs for others to know their true calling and to embrace the path God has set them on.

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Tru*life: It’s me, Liz Trujillo again:), and I am so grateful for the opportunity to bring you my friend Liz Bossard! I’ve known her for close to 18 years both in the same town and across many miles, and I can tell you- she’s the real deal y’all. I’ve been able to watch her grow into this amazing communicator and have also been a recipient of her love and friendship since my early days of marriage, motherhood, and ministry. She was the obvious choice to share with us about loving our tribes well. I sure hope you took notes from her words of wisdom- I know I did today! A huge shoutout to all of her family for their continued service to our country!-Liz T

Go The Extra Mile: I’m a sucker for a Southern Rock Band, and NEEDTOBREATHE has a special place in my heart because they are from SC! Listen well to this song and be encouraged to love your tribe well today!

Love: Loving Yourself & Discovering Joy by Gigi Hahl

Love Part 3

My children screaming at one another does not bring me joy and unfortunately it is a sound that I hear daily. I used to envision myself ripping my ears from my head and throwing the bleeding ears to my children and yelling: “now I don’t have to hear you anymore!”—my kids would then be diagnosed with PTSD and probably taken from me, and I would have no ears. So, there goes that idea! I tend to be a bit dramatic, maybe that’s where my children get their histrionics. But I hear SO much more of their bickering since quitting my job after the birth of my fourth child. Having children brings out the best and worst in a person, or maybe that’s just me. I was starting to see more days with the worst person than the best.

Some moms are better at patience. Some moms are better at talking calmly to their kids and baking sweet treats and making crafts. But me, sometimes I would want to lock my kids in a closet and give them Benadryl and have them take a long nap—speaking in hyperbole here! I would never harm my children. I love my children. Very much. I love them so much that at every birth I would let go of some special part of myself—including valuable braincells. The other day when I went to buy sleds, I couldn’t think of the word sled. S-L-E-D, a four-letter word that is very simple, but I had to ask the cashier:
“Do you sell those things that kids ride in the snow with?”
The 17-year-old, looked at me with a dumbfounded look and said, “Sleds?”
“Oh yeah! That’s what their called!” I laughed back.

My brain is not what it used to be, and neither is any part of me. Some days I would daydream about the old me; living life to the fullest, laughing, telling jokes, and looking good. Some days I would long for a simpler time. My daydreams wouldn’t last long because I would be jolted back to reality by my two-year-old screaming at her older brother, “you’re not my BEST FRIEND! NO ONE is my BEST FRIEND!” I realized that I was becoming a new person and I had to stop pretending like I was going to get the old me back. This new person, I didn’t like too much. She didn’t have as much fun. This new person was very frustrated and controlling. I realized that either I needed to change my attitude or accept my new grumpy self.
I started to change my attitude.
I began by falling back in love with me and being grateful for what I had been given.

And thanks to Marie Kondo, I started asking myself what brings me joy? And not just regarding tidying up, but to experiences and everything else in life that matters. I decided that being a passive player in this game of life wasn’t cuttin’ it any longer. I needed to dive in. I needed to experience love and joy and not just watch from the sidelines. I wanted to live out my gratefulness by living life to the fullest, as cliché as it may sound.
So, what brings me joy?

Puzzles bring me joy! I love to solve puzzles and I love my introvert time. I love sitting at my counter for hours and days at a time and completing a puzzle. I am not able to do this as often as I like, but I love it.

Audiobooks and library apps bring me joy! I love listening to audiobooks. I never would have thought that I would love listening to books, but I do. I have finished ten books since January.

Swimming brings me joy! I decided that I needed to do something for a workout. I have always wanted to be able to swim laps as a cardio and lift weights to build muscle but just always came up with an excuse of why I couldn’t. SO, I signed up for an adult swim lesson. I was so scared at my first lesson. I was thinking about what other people would think of me, but to my surprise, no one was thinking about me. I love swimming! I had a minor setback last week but I’m okay. I went to practice what I had learned through lessons, and I panicked and couldn’t swim in the deep end. I kept telling myself that something was in the water like a shark, alligator, or a scary clown —I was the only one in the pool, it was six in the morning. The lifeguard just watched and said nothing. I did one quarter of a lap and then I did the walk of shame and left the pool. I was crippled by this irrational fear. This setback didn’t stop me, I went back two days later and swam in the deep end.

I started writing again and stopped caring about my missing braincells. I love to write and who cares if some people don’t want to read what I have to say. Writing brings me joy and gives me life.

My body brings me joy! I started looking in the mirror while I’m naked and telling myself: “This body is mine. It was a gift to me, and I love it.” This is not easy for me. Why is it so darn hard to look at myself naked and genuinely say “I love you”? Because when I look at my naked body, I immediately start to critique it. I say: “Look at those love handles! Say goodbye to ever wearing a two-piece swimsuit again, MY GOSH those stretch marks. Goodness, those nipples are different sizes, they don’t look anything like the original.” And this self-deprecating talk would continue until I verbally told myself to stop. My inner critique is a monster and not just about my outward appearance, but it has some nasty things to say about everything. How I parent. How I eat. How I work or not work. The best way for me to combat this is by telling myself: “This body is mine. It was a gift to me, and I love it”.

My body has birthed four beautiful children. Stretching and releasing with the marks to prove it. This body has gained weight and lost weight; it has been fit and been flabby. This body, my body is mine and I need to love it. I need to love it because I have four children that I am trying to teach how to love their bodies.

My family brings me joy. I enjoy them more. I stop what I am doing and play with them. I kiss them more and rub their heads. I talk longer and laugh louder. I am intentional but I am not perfect. I still have moments of crazy. But I am trying.

Lastly, God brings me joy! I started checking in with God more regularly. He is my ultimate sustainer and if I am not right with God, I quickly find myself losing patience quicker. It’s not just about reading my Bible, it’s more one-on-one talks and finding the time to just be with him and worship.
I desire to live a full life and experience joy! -Gigi Hahl

Meet Gigi: Jillian “GiGi” Hahl is a chauffeur, financial analyst, strategist, and storyteller, or as some call it SAHM (Stay At Home Mom). She lives in Denver, Colorado and enjoys learning anything new. She once had a cat named Kitty because the name slightly paid homage to one of her favorite movies Breakfast at Tiffany’s. She loves meeting new people and experiencing new cultures. You can find her at roaming the aisles of Costco on the first Sunday of the month.

Meet Gigi Hahl!

*Hey everyone, it’s me Liz again:). I’m so thankful for the beautiful and honest message that Gigi shared with us today! I know for my heart, it was encouraging! I’m so grateful for the opportunity to connect everyone with Gigi’s work and I can tell you, I’ve admired her writing and her mothering skills for the last several years! She’s the real deal ya’ll and what an honor it has been to have her as part of our blogging community:). P.S.-I too wish to roam the aisles of Costco with her:)!

Go The Extra Mile: Check out “Lean Back” from Capital City Music, one of my new favorite songs- so so good, so… listen all the way to the end. A great reminder of the love of Our Heavenly Father, and the joy and goodness we can experience in Him!